I Feel.

Dumb Blues....

I love blonde jokes when they're funny.
Except for the blonde part, which sucks.
So, this is for you blondes
Some are funny and some aren't;

1.)
This blue haired cop stops a blue haired driver and asks for identification.
The blue haired driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license.
“I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The bluehead takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it.
Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
I actually heard this one today in a different language!


2.)
A bluehead and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news.
A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.
The bluehead bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump,
and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped,
so the bluehead gave the redhead the $50 she owned.
The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend."
The bluehead replied, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit,
I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news,
so I can't take your money."
The bluehead replied, "Well, so did I,
 but I never thought he'd jump again!"
This one's funny

 3.)
Three blueheads were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first bluehead said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second bluehead said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third bluehead said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blueheads were still arguing when the train hit them.
I love how blunt it is.


4.)
A bluehead was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blueheade said,
“I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you took away my license.
Now today you want me to show it to you?”
She actually made sense....in a stupid way....


5.)

This bluhead decides one day that she is sick and tired

 of all the bluehead jokes and how all blueheads are perceived as stupid,

so she decides to show her husband that blueheads really are smart.

Her husband thinks she's stupid? Why is she married to him?

While her husband is off at work,
she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work,
she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies, "Yes."
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that
not all blueheaded women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said,
"For best results, put on two coats."
Kind of sad if you think about it.....poor bluey!


6.)
A young woman goes into the doctor's office
and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams,
pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor looked at her for a moment in confusion,
"Your finger is broken"
So maybe it's not a bluey joke.
Who cares?
It's funny!


7.)
A bluehead and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The bluehead, tired, just wants to take a nap.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains,
"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says,
"Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00,
and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the bluehead 's attention, and
figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays,
agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The bluehead doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse,
pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn."
She asks the lawyer,
"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.
No answer.
He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the bluehead and hands her $500.00.
The bluehead says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the bluehead and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the bluehead reaches into her purse,
hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
HAHA!
Proves blueheads aren't stupid!
Lawyers are!
HAHA!




Sorry this was a lame post, but I'm tired...
~ZABC*A~

Birthstones

January-
Garnet: associated with Strength, Prosperity, Health, and Perseverity (to persist in anything undertaken)
Rose Quartz: associated with Emotinal Balance, Forgiveness

February-
Amethyst: associated with Wisdom, Spirituality, Security, Sobriety (quick recovery from any alcoholic/drug effect)
Onyx: associated with Relaxation, Comfort

March-
Aquamarine: associated with Beauty, Honesty, Loyalty, Happiness
Bloodstone: associated with Endurance

April-
Diamond: associated with Invincibility, Clarity, Purity, Eternal Love
Rock Crystal/Quartz: associated with Balance, Clarity, Energy

May-
Emerald: associated with Patience, Understanding, Foresight
Chrysoprase: associated with Fertility, Secrecy

June-
Alexandrite: associated with Balance, Confidence, Joy
Moonstone: associated with Balance, Good Fortune, Tender Passion
Pearl: associated with Modesty, Purity, Beauty, Happiness

July-
Ruby: associated with Love, Success, Passion, Promise, Integrity (persistance of a personal moral code)
Carnelian: associated with Luck, Safety

August-
Peridot: associated with Fame, Dignity, Protection, Success
Sardonyx: associated with Relaxation, Security

September-
Sapphire: associated with Truth, Sincerity, Commitment, Loyalty
Lapis: associated with Understanding, Protection

October-
Opal: associated with Faith, Confidence, Hope
Tourmaline: associated with Balance, Endurance, Safety

November-
Topaz: associated with Stength, Wisdom, Courage
Citrine: associated with Hope, Cheerfulness, Youth, Health, Fidelity (faithfulness to obligations, or duties)

December-
Tanzanite: associated with Contentment, Understanding
Zircon: associated with Wisdom, Honor, Wealth
Turquoise: associated with New Possibilities, Happiness

Birthstones tend to be a very personal choice, even to the point that people who don't like the color of their true birthstone will find any excuse to claim another. For example, the true November birthstone is citrine or golden topaz, yet many people choose blue topaz even though that lovely blue color is the result of treatment of a golden or colorless natural topaz crystal.

You may notice that the colors of the modern and traditional birthstones tend to be the same, implying that (historically speaking) the traditional color is the important consideration and blue topaz would not be an acceptable birthstone choice for November, only golden topaz. Indeed, blue topaz is sometimes considered to be an alternate birthstone for December - it is the right color. Remember, however, that the wishes of the gift recipient override all other considerations regarding the correctness of a birthstone gift.

Note that blue sapphire is the traditional color for September. But sapphires come in every color of the rainbow (except hues of red which are given the name ruby), as do tourmalines and even diamonds. Garnet, usually thought of as a red birthstone, actually is available in a variety of colors including orange, green, and even the lovely deep purple color of grapes.

Tanzanite became an official December birthstone on October 30, 2002, in the first revision since 1912 to the birthstone list maintained by the American Gem Trade Association (AGTA).

Sorry, I copied and pasted the last part.

I;m tired and I don;t have the energy to put into my own, simpler words.

Sorry.

Here is a link to what I used:

http://www.galleries.com/minerals/birthsto.htm

I didn;t use this one, but I love to look at it often

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthstones

Thanks!

I love you!~

~~ZABC*A~~

I Love My Family So............

This one is for my Dad.

I

Love

Love

Love

You

Tata!

Love

You!

Love

You!

I LOVE YOU!

~~ZABC*A~~